Sunday, March 27, 2011

The week is done

Wow. What a long week. I seem to be less and less able to handle the 12 hour days. 12 hour nights, not so bad.
Perhaps it's the shuffling that is going in a work ... the dilemma of where to place which staff in order to lessen the likelihood of job loss. Job loss. In nursing. Beyond comprehensible, but, there it is in a nut shell. And it's only just the beginning. We have become such a society of consumerism, that even medicine is an industry now. Gone are the days of bedside vigils by caring, compassionate nurses. Ring goes the buzzer, "what now" the response. I shudder thinking this is the attitude of the people who will care for me in my old age.
Ah, well, tomorrow is another day. I have actually got it in my mind to reorganize my beads and bits, and see what projects I can come up with. It's about that time :)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Earth Hour.....lets save energy, but why just one hour?

Everyone takes a stand for something they believe in. But why only an hour? Why not..a day...a week... an hour a day even? In this time of belt tightening and penny pinching, why do we resolve to "follow the leader" for an hour?

Don't misunderstand please. An hour is better than nothing at all. I sit here, candles lit, and the kids are playing on their Nintendo DSi's, while I blog. Hurray for batteries. And soon, all to soon, it will be bed time, whereby the lights further remain off.  Summer time is the time where energy is overused, what with fans circulating, air conditioners humming, and radios blaring from inside the house with speakers directed toward the back door. Yet, here we sit, in the start of spring, proclaiming "Earth Hour". Wouldn't we, as a society, be better to leave off the air conditioning units for a day, wrapping cool cloths around our heads and necks, and hit the local beaches? Pack those picnic baskets, grab the towels and blankets, and head down to the local swimming hole/pond/natural water fed something? No sprinklers please, that would involve another form of natural resource waste.
I'm not saying stop everything, but, can't we  be more conscientious, in each our own way, on how to conserve what little resources we have left?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Wonders never cease

I'm trapped inside a shell,
Wanting out, I need to yell,
Darkness falls yet it's never light,
Is there any end in sight?

This was the feeling I've been experiencing as of late, but no more.  My husband is FINALLY on board with my life plan lol. So much so, that he has taken it upon himsself to discuss with me, at great length, his ideal......home.
A home is so much more than where you live. It's how you live, with the people you live with. Fort us, we have the "million dollar" family..one boy, one girl, two operational vehicles and...oh wait, not our own home. I've been looking, and talking about this house, or that house, to be shot down at every turn. I'd given up hope.

Then I am told, much to my surprise, how much he liked the place we lived in when we were in Burlington. And now, sitting on his computer, is a draft of a plan based on that same format...only bigger. Plain, straight forward  *box* of a house, but.... I LIKE it. And we want to BUILD it. Our first ever, owned by us...home.  I can't wait.

 I trust him IMPLICITLY. I know, and feel in my heart of hearts, that we can do this. And at a lesser cost than buying something made by someone else, decorated by someone else. I know we can't do it all... finished basement, decorator colors..but I feel that, as long as the basics are present, and the kids rooms are done...all else will occur, as time.... and money... permits. Oh happy day!!! :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Saving time, spending time

Daylight savings time. Good heavens what a way to throw off the internal clock of a night shifter.

I work 12 hour night shifts. 7:30 pm until 7:30 am. In a six week schedule, four of those weeks are nights. There are days when I am lucky to net myself 3 hours sleep. I can not, absolutely NOT sleep for a long time in the day. My past seven months have been inundated with short fits of sleep. Recently, after talking about my problem sleeping to my husband, he suggested one of those little masks that cover your eyes. Black out the daylight. So we bought one. Sleep comes quicker than it used to and lasts longer. I'm so pleased. My mood is better and with the rest, I am able to spend time with my kids. My daughter complains to her nanny that she doesn't get "enough cuddle time with mommy", and my son, when he comes to wake me says "Oh mommy, I'm home, I missed you sooooo much" Being well rested is not only good for the body, but for the peace of mind my kids have when I am less likely to be telling them "No, hunny, mommy's too tired" and more likely to say "Sure thing sweetie, let me just grab my sunglasses" as we head out the door for fun :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Reading

I seem to do things in fits and spurts. I'll go all out on a splurge and clean until my nostrils burn from the scent of cleansers, or I'll read for days on end until one word blurs in to the next. That's where I am heading right now.
You have to love our local library. I, as of late, have been signing out anywhere between 5-8 books in about 1 to 1 1/2 weeks, and reading through them..devouring them, almost as if I was never going to read again. In some ways, deep down, I do believe this is my fear.
In January, with the skill of our local eye specialist, I received laser treatment to both eyes. When I mentioned this on my face book page, there were several *omg I so want to get my eyes done too* comments...it seems laser surgery to a lot of people implies "Lasik". Totally different, in my case. I have been blessed (yes sarcasm at it's best) with a progressively degenerative condition of retinal damage. At 44, I have *about 20 years* worth of surgical repair on my retina before the words "Well Mrs. Whitehead, I'm sorry to tell you, but you are now deemed legally blind". I have such respect for people who live, and work, and continue to have productive, fulfilling lives, when told these words. Can I be one of them? Time will tell. In the meantime..read, read, read.

Friday, March 11, 2011

My saving grace

Here I sit, 5:45 am, and all I have had in the way of sleep is approximately 2 1/2 hours. My adorable little guy woke me up around 1:45, when he came in to bed, crawling up from the bottom, and smooshing his daddy's legs in the process as all I heard was "ow ow ow" This little body curls up in the crook of my arm, kisses me, leans over and kisses his daddy, then immediately starts to snore. Softly, but snore nonetheless. I doze a little, but by 2:45, I'm getting head butted. Off to bed you go scamp, and up I get.

Logging in, I check my facebook, play my games, and read my bestie's blog. We're going for lunch today, and I'm excited for it. I have a proposition for her, with the beautiful cards she's been making, which will ultimately pay for her to get more supplies. Like my bead work. What I sell, makes up for what I buy. I create what I do for the sheer pleasure of the creations. Not to make money, (mind you coming out a little ahead is nice) but primarily for the enjoyment others have in what I do. The crafting of each piece calms me, soothes me, and brings me peace.... my saving grace.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Simplicity

There is something to be said for enjoying the finer things in life. Simplicity, however, is my key to happiness. While I quest after a goal of "maintaining pleasure in my career", "maintaining happiness in my home", and "being the best me I can be" my surest, most concise path, is simplicity. Go away, *to-do* lists. We all know that the list never gets shorter, and the frustration felt when another task is added, and none removed, is not worth the stress in the end. One day at a time. One task at a time. One goal at a time.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tired, so very tired.

So tired. Just winding down after working all night. Night shifts are hell on the body, hell on the family life. Right now, I would not trade it. I get to see my beautiful children more. 12 hour shifts are killer for a mother/child relationship. My babies (6 and 8) complain daily that they don't see me enough. My son, wants me to go to his school, and sit in on his class, to show me how well he is doing. He brought home artwork extolling how proud he is. It breaks my heart, that I cannot do this for him, just based on these night shifts, and how very tired I always seem to be. And my daughter, bless her heart, is always drawing pictures of her and I....shoe shopping (she is sooooooo like her mother! lol) reading, and hearts everywhere, and us holding hands. I'm not overtly religious, by any means, but I thank *someone* for bringing me these two precious people in to my life, when there was no hope for any. My eyes tear, every time I think that I was to never have these gifts.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Examining me

Quick witted I am not. My thoughts culminate in a quagmire of fog, confusion, and disorder. But I am single minded in my pursuits. Family and friends know they are always first and foremost. What is best for me, are the deeply grounded feelings and emotions that exude when I think of those I care for.

Secondly, is my craft. I am, in a nutshell, a "healer". Conventional, in that I am a nurse, unconventional in that I don't solely look to the "accepted" form of healing. Medicine. It has its purpose, and fulfills the required needs as are necessary, but, in my experience, there is more available, if the mind is open enough to accept the experience. Alternative therapies can go a long way toward healing... not just the body, but the mind and spirit as well.

My personal method of healing, is the use of gemstones. I have put my knowledge of some of the healing properties to use, and started making jewelry. I've expanded my format and have experimented with a variety of mediums, and patterns, and find that the sense of accomplishment that overcomes me when I complete a project leaves me with a "feel good" emotion that doesn't go away immediately (like when you finish that morsel of chocolate, and say "ahhhhh" then realize...there's none left). Putting the healing properties of gemstones together in a necklace, or bracelet, and then gifting that item (having considered the gems for the giftee) goes a long way to knowing that I've given something from my heart, and talent, that is pretty, yet helpful.